Forever young.

soundtracks to my soul ♥

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e-mail: zhafhiey@hotmail.com
MSN: ixixy@hotmail.com

MIYAVI, my hero.
He changed my life, he cleaned me up, he found my heart like only HE can. He made me discover myself, he's my drive, my inspiration, my voice, my soul, my song, my heart, my hero. ♥ I don't think I can ever have built a passion and found a dream if I had never found him. He makes my day each time, and every song he has written is etched in my mind, my heart and my soul. I am very protective of this man because I don't like people making fun of whoever it is that has left an impact in my life. He is all I need right now to keep me going to achieve my dreams. And don't be jealous that a guy in magenta nail polish can get more chicks than you.

GERARD WAY, the first.

He is undeniably an awesome person with a wonderful personality. He is always all-smiles and not forgetting he has a lovely smile. Whoever fails to love this man fails so much, because they are definitely blind. I knew him before I knew Miyavi, and he did the first few jobs to straightening my life out before handing it all over to him. He got married to someone else already, but I am happy for him, of course I am (: He has been the bestest there is for the past 2 years I was obsessed over him.

BILL KAULITZ, my porcupine.
Bill makes awesome music and he, although young, is very talented and expressive. Miyavi is more expressive than he is, but hey! Bill just turned 19, and he definitely has a long way to go. He earned success through hard work and diligence, and for that, I love him to bits. He hasn't really done anything to change my life, but he's wonderful nonetheless. And yes, it's a he. A guy who happens to have long hair so you people think he's a girl. A guy whose face is effeminate and prettier than all you other guys out there. You're just jealous that a guy in black nailpolish can earn more chicks than you, just like Miyavi.

WILLIAM BECKETT, my laughing gas.

He's cute, I know. He's funny, even more. He's tall, has a great smile, wonderful personality, great sense of humor, wonderful singing voice, he's so... wow. I am not in love with him, but I pretty much look up to him and his group of friends, which includes oddities like Chislett, Mike Carden, Sisky and The Butcher to always make me feel better on days I'm feeling quite blue. They never fail to slap a smile onto my face because they are awesome and funny like that. Whoever has not seen these guys in action, but go and watch them ASAP because they. are. the. shiz. Great humourous bunch of people, who make awesome music as well. Who can't possibly love them!?

JOE JONAS, satisfaction
People who know me well, know damn well I do not like this guy. I don't even like him now, I'm just in this for the thrill. So yea, I don't hate him as much as I used to, but I don't like him much either. But, I'll have you know he's a damn good kisser and I should know, yes, I should know. And his saliva tastes like cherry/mint. No, don't even ask. Oooo, scandalous. And I just thought that after everything that happened, he deserved at least a mention for satisfying my lust.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

You don't know how sick you make me.
You make me fucking sick to my stomach.
Everytime I think of you I puke.
You must not know.
You may not think you do, but you do.
Everytime I think of you I PUKE.

If only you knew how much I hated you.
You're a fucking coke-head, I hope you fucking die.
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye.
I hate your fucking guts, I hope you die.

Fucking manbitch.

Seriously, what else do you want from me? Is it not clear that I DO NOT LOVE YOU, and right after we settled things yesterday, you came today just to find trouble. I don't care if he's your best friend, he's a good friend of mine too. And what does it matter to me, and to YOU if I am close to him because he is MY friend, and I have every right to talk to him or whatever. I am not even your girlfriend and I don't even need to care for your feelings. So what if you "love" me? I don't love you, so why should I care?

You spoiled a perfectly planned day by just crashing into the scene. Seriously, what kind of a "manly" act is that? The reason why I was avoiding you today was because I am so pissed off at you. You're everywhere whenever I'm hanging out with your best friend. And today, I went far away hoping that I won't get disturbed and at least be able to spend some time with him and my friends. But you just had to SPOIL it, didn't you? Why did you come here in the first place? To spy? Come on, out of all places, what are the chances of you "accidentally" coming to the same place as us?

Then, forcing us to buy movie tickets to watch the same movie as you. Forcing us to come and find you and though we're your dogs. Following us everywhere. NOBODY ASKED YOU ALONG. You came with your group of friends, you STAY with your group of friends. I don't care okay. Your best friend and my friends already made a promise to spend the whole day together already. So next time, you just stay out of it. What the hell is wrong with you. What more do you want from me?

CAN YOU STOP MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE?
Stop appearing here and there, cause it's annoying me to no end.
I don't care if you're jealous I'm close to your best friend.
I don't care if you "love" me.
I don't care if you're angry or jealous or whatever.
I DON'T CARE. And please, when I want to spend time with your best friend, allow me to. You have spend the last so many years with him, and for me and my friends, we hung out with him for only like what, 3 days? And you're already blowing this whole thing out of proportions.

Can you just... GO AWAY. GET OUT FROM MY LIFE.
I am so pissed off with you. You don't have to be everywhere your best friend is, okay?
When I am there, and you force him to go with you, I. Am. Not. Amused.

Fuck off Arief.

And just so you know,
I cried twice today not because I miss you.
BUT BECAUSE YOU KEEP ON MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL.

Also, for your information, I am not insulting you.
I'm just stating reasons why I hate you.

I have never felt hatred this pure.

AND, I forgot to mention that this is NOT the only time you have made me feel so angry.
You have done so COUNTLESS of times, but I just REFUSE to write it down here cause I was thinking of your pride. I AM SO DAMN KIND. But now, that's right. I couldn't care less.

10:34 PM