» Featured song: 君に願いを
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
shafiqah othman.
soundtracks to my soul ♥
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e-mail: zhafhiey@hotmail.com
MSN: ixixy@hotmail.com
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MySpace
e-mail: zhafhiey@hotmail.com
MSN: ixixy@hotmail.com
MIYAVI, my hero.He changed my life, he cleaned me up, he found my heart like only HE can. He made me discover myself, he's my drive, my inspiration, my voice, my soul, my song, my heart, my hero. ♥ I don't think I can ever have built a passion and found a dream if I had never found him. He makes my day each time, and every song he has written is etched in my mind, my heart and my soul. I am very protective of this man because I don't like people making fun of whoever it is that has left an impact in my life. He is all I need right now to keep me going to achieve my dreams. And don't be jealous that a guy in magenta nail polish can get more chicks than you.
GERARD WAY, the first.
He is undeniably an awesome person with a wonderful personality. He is always all-smiles and not forgetting he has a lovely smile. Whoever fails to love this man fails so much, because they are definitely blind. I knew him before I knew Miyavi, and he did the first few jobs to straightening my life out before handing it all over to him. He got married to someone else already, but I am happy for him, of course I am (: He has been the bestest there is for the past 2 years I was obsessed over him.
BILL KAULITZ, my porcupine.Bill makes awesome music and he, although young, is very talented and expressive. Miyavi is more expressive than he is, but hey! Bill just turned 19, and he definitely has a long way to go. He earned success through hard work and diligence, and for that, I love him to bits. He hasn't really done anything to change my life, but he's wonderful nonetheless. And yes, it's a he. A guy who happens to have long hair so you people think he's a girl. A guy whose face is effeminate and prettier than all you other guys out there. You're just jealous that a guy in black nailpolish can earn more chicks than you, just like Miyavi.
WILLIAM BECKETT, my laughing gas.
He's cute, I know. He's funny, even more. He's tall, has a great smile, wonderful personality, great sense of humor, wonderful singing voice, he's so... wow. I am not in love with him, but I pretty much look up to him and his group of friends, which includes oddities like Chislett, Mike Carden, Sisky and The Butcher to always make me feel better on days I'm feeling quite blue. They never fail to slap a smile onto my face because they are awesome and funny like that. Whoever has not seen these guys in action, but go and watch them ASAP because they. are. the. shiz. Great humourous bunch of people, who make awesome music as well. Who can't possibly love them!?
JOE JONAS, satisfaction
People who know me well, know damn well I do not like this guy. I don't even like him now, I'm just in this for the thrill. So yea, I don't hate him as much as I used to, but I don't like him much either. But, I'll have you know he's a damn good kisser and I should know, yes, I should know. And his saliva tastes like cherry/mint. No, don't even ask. Oooo, scandalous. And I just thought that after everything that happened, he deserved at least a mention for satisfying my lust.
People who know me well, know damn well I do not like this guy. I don't even like him now, I'm just in this for the thrill. So yea, I don't hate him as much as I used to, but I don't like him much either. But, I'll have you know he's a damn good kisser and I should know, yes, I should know. And his saliva tastes like cherry/mint. No, don't even ask. Oooo, scandalous. And I just thought that after everything that happened, he deserved at least a mention for satisfying my lust.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I am bored to tears and there's nothing to do.
If Ryan was online, we could share shit stories again.
WHERE ARE YOU HONEYYYYY~ Damn.
That aside, I bit my tongue :D
It's painful, of course. But what to do?
Raaiqa is starting school next Monday. [have I mentioned that before?]
HAHAHAHAH And I still don't know when I am starting!
Most probably next year, because, just because :D
I edited my Friendster profile because I was bored, and I totally went against Iskandar's word [although I agreed in the beginning] to use this photo:
Instead of, this photo:
The first photo's sexy, but the second one had so many colours and it looked so cool [as cool as the first one], I couldn't resist it.
Shit, now I feel the urge to change the background.
Kay, not yet. Maybe like... a month from now.
Oh oh oh, and those two photos are
SEH-EXY! ♥
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8:27 PM
I promised Ryan I'd be online :(
I told Iskandar to wake me up at 6, and when he did, I fell asleep again and I woke up at around 1.30 pm. Dammit, a whole morning wasted. And it was so hot too, that room.
Oh come on. I went to watch Kabuki Danshi and wtf? The fight's still on?
If by listening to THAT voice, and you call him GAY, with all that crazy movements, you seriously have issues. I don't see my anti-Myv people actually go to WATCH his videos.
Do all guys with long hair have to be GAY to you?
I.
Am.
So.
Angry.
ARGH.
And that video is probably one of the worst to comment on, because the song Kabuki Danshi reflects the Kabuki stereotype in Japan. By hating the way Miyavi looks, you might as well stay away from Japan completely. Dumbass stereotypical people. Have some respect for other people's tradition, will you?
And COME ON, COCK JOKES ARE SO A MILLENNIUM AGO.
It ain't funny anymore.
You don't know ANYTHING about Miyavi, so shut up and stop giving comments. Miyavi is more man than you'll ever be.
Yes, I am a protective fangirl who has no life.
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2:41 PM
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I went to KLCC.
I went into Kino.
AND I SAW IT. The LOVE OF MY LIFE, ARENA37C SPECIAL VOLUME 46. But Abah didn't allow me to get it.
And I was sad. Throughout everything, yes, I became sad, angry, frustrated. Selfish reason, I know that for certain. But I do have my reasons on why I am so angry.
- This was the magazine I was searching for in Singapore, which I couldn't get. Cause they friggin didn't have stock. And now I found it in this dumb country, and I couldn't get it.
- It's considered cheap in Singapore. $20+, but as everyone knows, once you are in this dumb country, everything gets pushed up by double, thus labeling it 'expensive'.
- This was THE LAST COPY. And it had Miyavi's BEAUTIFUL face on the cover!
- Abah keeps on telling everyone that we're rich when we're in Malaysia. And he can't afford this mag? He can forget about getting cars. My dreams of getting a Cintiq is already shattered.
Okay. Sha, stop.
I also want to thank my INGENIOUS little sister, who actually tore off the plastic wrap of Arena37C Volume 311, so that I could see the deliciously awesome and sexy pictures of Miyavi inside. THANKS RAAIQA! It's the last copy, but Miyavi ain't on the cover, so I wouldn't mind if anyone stole it from right under my nose.
The photos are SEH-EXY! I like, I like, I like. But I prefer Arena37C Special ):
*i... am... so... angry...*
Oh, and then I put the magazine back into the plastic wrap :D
I am a nice person.
Other than that, the day was quite fun :D Not FUN fun, but I kind of enjoyed it. Except for that last bit where Abah made me angry... KAY, I need to STOP talking about that ._.
I am going to rape Abah's printer later.
Photos below, because I was bored and I happen to be a camwhore too.
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10:44 PM
OMG, I just found the source of that SEH-EXY pic and I found this whole lot, and I SWEAR A PART OF ME JUST DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN. I feel so weak on my knees right now, cause I'm in vulnerable fangirl mode. And anyone who disturbs my pic searching spree feels my wrath.
MIYAVI,
my anti-drug ♥
my anti-drug ♥
Iskandar saw this photo while I was searching for Miyavi pics, and the first thing he said was "Oh my god, NICE!" He's really fond of this particular Miyavi hairstyle, to say the least. Not me though xD Not saying I HATE it, just not very fond of it. This was the Jibun Kakumei era, back in '03. I'm starting to like that song xD I think it sounds weird and cool. In that music video, Miyavi has both brown and blue hair. And I think his constant "HEY!"s are adorable.I'm more of a fan of his hairstyles back in Kimi Ni Negai Wo, Rock No Gyakushu, Freedom Fighters, Kekkonshiki No Uta and of course his current hairstyle, which is made of awesome, win and sex.
Speaking of sex, look at this weird but for some weird reason, cute photo I found of Miyavi.
I think I know why I found this cute. BUCK TOOTH! And he pushes his chest forward, which is why it kinda looks awkward. But HEY, it's Miyavi, and Miyavi being ugly is like... Pigs flying. I think I'm going nuts. I need merch manz. I have This Iz The Japanese Kabuki Rock [thanks to my dearly beloved friends <3] but I need like, singles and magazines, POSTERS TOO. The only for me to die happy. I bet Miyavi was Heaven-sent. Even if he isn't, I believe he is, so don't shatter my dreams.You know, there are times where I feel like telling the whole world why I think Miyavi is so great. I hate it when people call me nothing but a blind fangirl who drools over nothing but Miyavi's looks -.- This guy gives me inspiration, is a great role model, has great showsmanship, loads of charisma, and friggin is so talented in so many things. It just so happens he's damn good-looking too. His music... is life-changing o: He opened my eyes to many stuff, I can't really say what.
Oh, and Din and Atiqah said that I get attracted to eyes. Which is kind of true actually. The first thing I ALWAYS comment on is "Omg... look at his eyes..." And the other time, I was watching this show on TV, and I said "Umi! That guy so handsome!". My mum was like, "Huh?" cause the guy had like, middle length wavy hair [kinda hot actually], and when she asked me why, I said "I don't know... His eyes so nice..."
Moral of the story is, MIYAVI HAS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF EYES I HAVE EVER SEEN. Even Jaini agrees so. I can't believe she said that actually o:
Look at that picture for example. His eyes, his face! So gorgeous, you have to agree. He's so much prettier than a girl, in fact, he makes a better girl than anyone does! Minus that... funky and aggressive attitude xD I don't like it when people label him GAY just because of ONE photo. For Meev's sake, photos have no voice, no motion, so don't judge. He doesn't sound or even move like a girl. His stage presence is all prancing around, acting sexy, jumping, screaming and whatnot. If you listen to his song and ask me if that's a guy or a girl, I will seriously facepalm myself.I have to admit though, that he does look very feminine. But is is more man than you'll ever be.
Btw, I'm going to KLCC Kinokuniya later and HOPEFULLY I will find that magazine. If not, anything with Miyavi as a cover will do fine. *prays a poster comes with it too*
He's the only Jrock artiste I've ever like because his voice is appealing to me. It just grabs you without warning and you get sucked in. And his music is wonderful. Rock, punk, hip-hop, funky, jazz, blues. You name it.
Kay manz, gotta go get ready to go to KLCC already.
KINOKUNIYA,
HERE I COME.
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HERE I COME.
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12:23 PM
HE'S SO HOT ♥,
He makes erectile dysfunctional patients
get a HARD-AWN.
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-----
11:42 AM
He looks so full of himself here. YEA BABY, LET IT RIP. I still find this photo funny. I mean, LOOK AT THE HAIR. And the posture and everything is just weird xD
This one looks wrong, cause Ju-Ken just looks all... *GRAB* I know he's holding the guitar, but it looks like he's GRABBING MIYAVI'S BALLS. Oops. or maybe going all "OMG WOAH IT'S HUGE."
I LOVE THIS ONE HAHAHAHAHAJCNDSNVKJSDLVNSD;HVSA Ju-Ken looks like a MONKEY, and Miyavi looks like such a bitch at the back xD Like you know, going all "Ouh, come AWN!" but at the same time, this photo gives off this girly sense, like "Ah! He took my spotlight, that jerk!" [talk very femininely for this one] Nice image capture for this one! Extra kudos for capturing MIYAVI'S TUMMY.
Another photo I found HAHAHA. But I don't know who to credit ): But this photo looks so funny and gay at the same time xD Gackt's like... orgasming ._. and Miyavi's looking all "Ooohh... nice lips." Or a less gay-er version would be Miyavi laughing at Gackt, and suddenly stops laughing cause... "HAHAHAHAHaha..HA..ha... omg booger up your nose." *concentrates*
Yes, I am a dumb fangirl, I am bored and I have no life xD
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11:26 AM
AND I DON'T FIND IT SEXY AT ALL XD
Miyavi takes photos like a model. No wonder he was asked to do the catwalk at Paris.
He's the only person excessively moving and posing, so kewlz.
Btw, S.K.I.N is just a side project/band that Miyavi, Sugizo, Gackt and Yoshiki put together for fun.
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10:57 AM
SEH-EXY!♥
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10:38 AM
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the stars roar the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I’m gone.
Cause I die, without you.
12:13 AM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I found this on a Neo Visualizm PV of Miyavi's.
msxxxxxx [name censored]
to all the miyavi fans: if you like gay men so much, go suck on your daddy's cock
You poor little fuck.
It's alright, I understand that you're jealous Miyavi's cooler than you (:
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6:15 PM
I just noticed how nice every webpage is on Safari.
IT'S SO NICE. The words look so smooth and soft.
My blog text looks much much much better too.
More people in the world should get Safari.
SAFARI RULES.
Although it would be better if I had a Mac along with it too.
Safari is an internet thing btw.
Like Internet Explorer and Mozilla.
Mozilla rules, but Safari's better.
IE is suckish.
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5:45 PM
"Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door and call him using that phone booth back where Angel set up his drums. Why did Maureen's equipment break down? Why am I the witness? And when I capture it on film will it mean that it's the end, and I'm alone?"
Mark sang that part in RENT, but it's a deleted scene.
That part is so sad, because he is just a witness in everything and everyone he loves around him, seeing them break apart. He is connected in every way.
If Mimi did not knock on Roger's door, Mimi wouldn't have met Roger, and they wouldn't have been lovers, and Roger wouldn't have ran away.
If Mimi didn't use that phone booth to call Roger, everyone would never have met Angel, and suffer the pain of losing him in the first place.
If Maureen's equipment didn't break down, Mark didn't have to meet with Joanne, and watch as Maureen and Joanne share their own problems.
Mark captured all this on film, and at the end of the movie, he made a small movie out of it too.
it's to touching T_T
Darn you Ryan.
I'M A FRIGGIN RENTHEAD.
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4:06 PM
WILSON JERMAIN HEREDIA ♥
The guy who acted as Angel.
Heh-heh.
Miyavi-san has a song called Tom & Jerry. I discovered that the last time I went to Singapore, which was on the 18th. That same day was the day I made a failed attempt to buy a Miyavi mag HAHA :D Rai doesn't believe the song exists though.
She's listening right now.
WEEHEE in yo face, sista.
Was watching Powerpuff Girls just now, and those 3 girls made another PPG, and WOAH, IT'S DARN UGLY. Name's Bunny. Ew xD The face, and the way it speaks ._.
But Bunny was so niiiice ):
Anyways,
Miyavi - Tom & Jerry
Any nice soul out there who has translations to this, or can do translations,
darling, be a dear, and help? (:
I like the song!
Yvonne slept at like what, 2-3/4 am yesterday? And she has SCHOOL. Pfft, stupid girl xDD
Kerrie was such a darling yesterday, she's so sweeeet <33
Just noticed how many good friends I managed to get through TN.
Yvonne, Kerrie, Haley, Wendy, RYAN! <3
I wanna go meet Yvonne again ):
Babe, I miss you manz xD
AND YEA, you know what?
She became drunk yesterday and added Khairul into our conversation -.-
And theeeen, she went offline cause her connection snapped.
THANKS YVONNE!
Anyway, I miss you :D
And I miss youuuu.
Yessss, I miss youuuuu.
Fuck, I feel so pathetic right now -.-
BUT YEA, I MISS YOU ):
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1:50 PM
Couldn't keep to myself enough,
And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure,
I would soon blow up.
I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
I can't let that happen again.
Cause then you'll see my heart,
in the saddest state it's ever been.
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Me and my Chucky Doll says:
T.T
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
I'm thinking about homework
sfqomhz <382:
YOU KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT BUT YOU DONT DO IT XD
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
Which means homework's my boyfriend or something
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
Ew
sfqomhz <382:
HAHAHAHA
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
YEAH XD
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
Cos it SUCKS
sfqomhz <382:
HOMEWORK IS YVONNE'S BOYFRIEND
sfqomhz <382:
XD
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
EWWWW
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
I'll dump him
sfqomhz <382:
BUT YOU HAVE TO FACE HIM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE <:D
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
OH YEAH?
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
Well I shall give him heartbreak
sfqomhz <382:
HOW
sfqomhz <382:
XD
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
And make him commit suicide
sfqomhz <382:
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
sfqomhz <382:
XD
Me and my Chucky Doll says:
And then all the kids around the world shall love me
Wee~ Yvonne is awesum, hehe ♥
All this started when I told her that I missed my... erm, yea :D
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2:06 AM
This has absolutely nothing to do with my previous post before this.
I miss you so bad.
I really do.
Fuck you for being so important to me.
T_T
1:45 AM
Monday, July 28, 2008
TULIBUDIBU DOUCHUUUUUUU!
i miss my LITERATURE teacher. *coughcough*
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10:38 PM
angel ♥
Did I mention that I woke up at 2.30 pm today because everytime I woke up, I thought so much about stuff, I ended up getting tired and falling asleep again?
Kay, now I have.
But I actually first woke up at 7 am :D
Eff you Ryan, I'm RENT-addicted x.x
Jonathan Larson never lived to see his creation at all.
He never got to see the phenomenon it became and the success it acquired. ):
RIP.
To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing. The need to express, to communicate. To going against the grain, going insane, going mad.
To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension. To starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension. Not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad.
To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes. To Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice. To any passing fad.
To be an "us" for once instead instead of a "them".
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou.
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation, mucho masturbation.
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new. To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo.
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage. Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage! To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda too.
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em.
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homosapiens. Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein. Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana.
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy. Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC! To no shame never playing the fame game. To marijuana!
TO DANCE! No way to make a living, masochisms, pain, perfection. Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!
FILM! Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations. Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!
MUSIC! Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation. Rhythm, power, feeling, harmony and heavy competition!
ANARCHY! Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions. Forcing changes, risk and danger. Making noise and making pleas!
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross-dressers too. To me! To me! To you, and you, and you, you and you! To people with living with, living with, living with... no dying from disease!
Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn!
Anyone out of the mainstream? Anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive - with a sex drive? Tear down the wall! Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace! What is? It's CREATION!
VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!
To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension. To starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension. Not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad.
To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes. To Absolut, to choice, to the Village Voice. To any passing fad.
To be an "us" for once instead instead of a "them".
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou.
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation, mucho masturbation.
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new. To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo.
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage. Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage! To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda too.
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em.
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homosapiens. Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein. Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana.
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy. Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC! To no shame never playing the fame game. To marijuana!
TO DANCE! No way to make a living, masochisms, pain, perfection. Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!
FILM! Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations. Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!
MUSIC! Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation. Rhythm, power, feeling, harmony and heavy competition!
ANARCHY! Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions. Forcing changes, risk and danger. Making noise and making pleas!
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross-dressers too. To me! To me! To you, and you, and you, you and you! To people with living with, living with, living with... no dying from disease!
Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn!
Anyone out of the mainstream? Anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive - with a sex drive? Tear down the wall! Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace! What is? It's CREATION!
VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!
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7:28 PM
I added something new to my profile page here on my blog.
It's a line from a song extracted from RENT.
I seriously love this movie, and that particular song is really very touching, especially after you know how close these people really are. They are like... a very close-bonded family.
Goodbye Love
They've smiled, laughed, cried and...
Shit, I'm going to cryyyy T_T
The quote on my profile says,
"I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had.
Someone to live for, unafraid to say "I love you"."
That line was sung by Joanne and Mimi.
For those who don't know, Angel and Collins are a couple, and they're gay. Angel is a cross-dresser, a drag queen. The love between Angel and Collins are very... touching. They really love each other very deeply, all the way till Angel's death. He died thanks to Aids.
Angel is my most favourite character in this movie. I seriously love him. He's so happy, and fun to be around. Who cares if he is gay and is a cross dresser? I'd love to be his friend anytime.
There's a song that both Collins and Angel sang together.
I'll Cover You
It's so sad to see this video especially knowing that Angel died in the end.
It's so bittersweet.
And this very fun song is sung by Angel,
Today 4 U
I still can't believe he passed away T_T
And just to prove how close their "family" really are,
La Vie Boheme
You should watch this. They're all friends, as close as family already.
The beginning of this made me laugh, because Benny said their Akita, Evita, died.
And if you listened to "Today 4 U" carefully, Angel was the one who sent Evita to "doggy hell" because she played with it so much, the puppy "barked itself to death" and had it's "ladt high strung breath".
PS: Benny is hated by everyone in this movie, cause he's a selfish bastard.
RENT on Wikipedia
It has all the lovable characters here.
Go see it.
This movie is so real.
I simple adore every character in this movie, but my favourite is Angel <3
I love this movie.
I love the plot.
I love Angel.
And you know what?
I'd be willing to die for a taste of what Angel had too.
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4:54 PM
It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Fucking Deathwish
Do you remember that day when we met?
You told me this gets harder.
Well it did.
Been holding on forever,
Promise me that when I'm gone you'll kill my enemies.
The damage you've inflicted, temporary wounds.
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me.
I'm taking back the life you stole.
We never got that far,
This helps me to think all through the night.
Bright lights that won't kill me now, or tell me how.
Just you and I, your starless eyes remain.
Hip Hip Hooray for me, you talk to me, but would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead.
From the razor to the rosary,
We could lose ourselves
And paint these walls in pitchfork red.
I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take.
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me.
I'm taking back the life you stole.
This hole you put me in
Wasn't deep enough.
And I'm climbing out right now.
You're running out of places to hide from me.
When you go,
Just know that I will remember you.
If living was the hardest part,
We'll then one day be together.
And in the end we'll fall apart,
just like the leaves change in colors.
And then I will be with you.
I will be there one last time now.
When you go,
Just know that I will remember you
I lost my fear of falling,
I will be with you.
I will be with you.
-----
Do you remember that day when we met?
You told me this gets harder.
Well it did.
Been holding on forever,
Promise me that when I'm gone you'll kill my enemies.
The damage you've inflicted, temporary wounds.
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me.
I'm taking back the life you stole.
We never got that far,
This helps me to think all through the night.
Bright lights that won't kill me now, or tell me how.
Just you and I, your starless eyes remain.
Hip Hip Hooray for me, you talk to me, but would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead.
From the razor to the rosary,
We could lose ourselves
And paint these walls in pitchfork red.
I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take.
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me.
I'm taking back the life you stole.
This hole you put me in
Wasn't deep enough.
And I'm climbing out right now.
You're running out of places to hide from me.
When you go,
Just know that I will remember you.
If living was the hardest part,
We'll then one day be together.
And in the end we'll fall apart,
just like the leaves change in colors.
And then I will be with you.
I will be there one last time now.
When you go,
Just know that I will remember you
I lost my fear of falling,
I will be with you.
I will be with you.
-----
4:28 PM
Neeeh, you don't care. You wouldn't even bother.
And you know what?
I couldn't either.
I'm so sorry, honey.
But right now, I really can't stand this.
Okay, that aside, there is something I need to let out here.
I NEED A WACOM CINTIQ, like now!
I've got issues, and the only way of feeling better is by drawing, and my drawing skills have been sucked down the drain recently. I need to frind my drive. I know it's in me somewhere, I can't find it. I want to get started on my projects. I want to make a portfolio.
Kay, you can laugh at me when I say this but, I really really want to be an artist. And hopefully, I can go to a good art school, most preferably somewhere in the Europe. A dream of mine is to be able to at least help at doing a CD cover for Miyavi :D If you still don't know why out of all artists, Miyavi, then go read my blog post called "ideas, dreams" or something like that.
Right now, let me sort out some stuff.
About my personal life.
Bitch.
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3:33 PM
Stress aku ader best friend slut macam gitu tau.
STRESS. Can't sleep, CAN'T THINK.
Oooo, look. Rage.
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1:24 AM
Sunday, July 27, 2008
RYAN ANGEL!
♥
THANKS, I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU!
For introducing me to RENT.
RENT RULES,
AND SO DO YOU!
when chu coming onlineeee ):
-----
♥
THANKS, I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU!
For introducing me to RENT.
RENT RULES,
AND SO DO YOU!
when chu coming onlineeee ):
-----
11:22 PM
I don't want you to know where I am,
cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
-----
cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
-----
7:35 AM
Who would've thought something as obscene as RENT would actually cause me to cry.
ALL YOUR FAULT RYAN.
Not RKA.
I love this movie.
Have to watch :(
I can't believe he's gone.
I can't believe you're going.
I can't believe this family must die.
Angel helped us believe in love,
I can't believe you disagree.
I can't believe this is goodbye.
I can't believe you're going.
I can't believe this family must die.
Angel helped us believe in love,
I can't believe you disagree.
I can't believe this is goodbye.
1:56 AM
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Awww, bebehhhh <33
Beh Qitot cried reading my postttt, and thanks to her,
I cried reading her blog tooo xDD
Looks like we BOTH are asses :D
-----
4:16 PM
You Act Like You Are 17 Years Old
You are a teenager at heart. You don't quite feel like a grown up yet, but you don't feel like a kid.
You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
You're quite rebellious, and you don't like being told what to do. You like to do things your way.
You have your own unique style, taste in music, and outlook on life
Clickeh clickeh.
What Does Your Sleeping Position Say
You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself
Clickeh clickeh.
What Does Your Handwriting Say About You
You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress.
You are very extroverted and outgoing. You are loving, friendly, and supportive. However, you are also manipulative and controlling at times.
You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others.
You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well.
You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart.
You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.
Clickeh clickeh.
You are 4: The Individualist
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well.
At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn.
Your Fixation: Envy
Your Primary Fear: To have no identity
Your Primary Desire: To find yourself
Clickeh clickeh.
You Are Fruit Flavoured Gum
You are quirky and independent. You don't tend to follow any one style or rule book.
You are a mix and match type of person, and you draw inspiration from many sources.
While you're definitely a bit unusual, you get along well with other people.
You're eager to welcome anyone into your world. You are not judgmental at all.
You form close bonds with your friends, and your relationships tend to be very secure.
You hold firm to your beliefs and values, and you don't let anyone talk you into compromising them.
Clickeh clickeh.
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1:36 PM
This made me HAHAHA and O_O at the same time.
When someone gets to know you, they still make feel a bit intimidated by you.HAHAHAHAHA.
You are alluring and sexy, but you have a dark, dangerous side that you don't hide.
And just like your color suggests, you are sophisticated and wise - especially when it comes to men.
Your heart is hard to win over. You don't fall in love easily... or often.
Black. HEHEHE.
Is this even true in the first place?
I can't even judge myself xD
-----
1:32 PM
Look, another quiz!
Your Blogging Type is Unique
and Avant Garde
You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.
and Avant Garde
You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.
I think this is cool.
It's sort of... right HAHA.
My blog is different eh? xD
And hellz yea, I wanna change my layout.
I just can't find something nice ):
I'm too picky.
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1:22 PM
Just thought I'd post this here. I took this thing that defines what kind of person you are. I got the link from my forum, but if you're wondering what it is, click here.
This is what I got.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.Most of it is kinda true.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
People see you as a complete enigma, and only you truly understand who you are.
You spend most of your time introspecting and seeking truth.
You're a very interesting person... but not many people know you enough to realize it.
You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.
Well, I bolded those that I find to be true.
But I think most of what I got applies to many people.
Although it's... freakily similar ._.
-----
1:11 PM
AVENUE Q!
Go watch the videos.
Really!
I watched way too many to post here.
Avenue Q is a musical.
The musical that made the infamous THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN.
Go watch SERIOUSLY THEY'RE FUNNY XD
And they have such great voices too.
I love love love this musical.
Okay, maybe I will post some links.
Interview With Trekkie Monster
It Sucks To Be Me
Royal Variety Performance
Trekkie and Lucy's Day Out
The last link is kind of disturbing for me, but it was fun nearing the ending xDD
Britain's Got More Talent
I love this. There's a part when one of the puppeteers talk, and right after that, he goes back into his puppet mode.
It's awesome.
Go find more links yourself k.
-----
12:01 PM
I woke up at 7 am today just to wish dearest good luck, but I fell asleep again and I woke up at 8.40 *insert big stupid smile*
GOOD LUCK SAYANG! <3
I went to the toilet and wanted to enter Iskandar's room from there, and when I pushed the door, it wouldn't budge. Which only meant one thing. He locked it. So I went into his room and wanted to scold him for locking the door, and his only response was, "It's locked?"
That was when it hit me that I was the one who locked the toilet door because I needed to use it.
-.- I feel so dumb, it's so funny :D
HAHAHAHAHA, you probably wouldn't understand, but it's just something so significant this morning. I thiiiiink we gonna go MidValley today, YAY.
And dearest's CCTs are coming up.
GOOD LUCK SAYANG! <3
Yes, I know it's the exact same line xD
And thiiiiis stupid person, who still haven't started school yeeeeeeet, only laaaaaze around at hooooome, doing nothiiiiing while other peopleeeeee take their examssssss.
I am so dead bored at home,
BUT BE JEALOUS ANYWAY! :D
Speaking of which, I need to revise.
I am very sure I have forgotten like 78% of whatever it is I was taught in school.
Especially Maths and Science.
Damn you, Chan.
I love you, Li Eng :D
9:06 AM
Friday, July 25, 2008
Looking at all these photos, while listening to this song is a perfect reason to bawl my eyes out. Isn't it? Ah, stupid song.
I remember after our very first English paper.
Me, Tiq, Firdaus, Aq and Ryan were sitting at a table together.
Atiqah started singing the chorus, and her arms just suddenly flew around me and she said
"SHA DON'T GOOOO!"
I remember singing this song like a drunk outside the staff room which waiting for Ms Ng, and after that, Khairul. Come to think of it, it felt so good... yet it felt so heartbreaking.
I remember crying to this very same song exactly a day before I moved.
I remember crying to this very same song on the way to our new house.
I remember crying to this very same song on nights I couldn't sleep.
This song brings back so much memories. It just has this wave of nostalgicness.
And it never fails to make me cry all the time.
The image of my old empty apartment was... sad. We slept on the floor. Cold. That empty place, with boxes all over. Rushing through DnT homework. The smell of hairspray.
That's the picture this stupid song brings to my mind.
Staying in school till really late, just because I wanted to spend extra time with the people that meant the world to me.
I remember Aqilah and I hugging and crying outside the computer lab.
It was embarrassing, but I was glad I got it out.
I will never forget the first time we all met, last year.
How we were formed.
How we got closer.
How we expanded.
The times we spent.
The moments we shared.
The laughter, the tears. Everything.
Cliche, I know.
The Malaysia trip got us all together. Atiqah became my bestest BESTEST buddy ever since that day. Aqilah was my FIRST friend EVER in Anderson. Jaini, Bavani, Iza and everyone else just suddenly came into my life. I've never been happier. I really never have.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love you guys?
There's no point saying it here, because no words can express how much I really miss, really love all of you.
Thank you, all of you.
I may have known you guys for only a short while, but it seemed like we knew each other since forever. Thanks for making my year and a half in Anderson, one of the best, memorable and cherished moments I've ever had in Singapore.
And as I write this, I'm smiling so widely.
But I'm crying.
I don't know if I'm sad or happy.
But I know that what I'm feeling right now can only be expressed in tears.
I can't seem to let go... No matter how hard I try.
My heart's just there. Nowhere else.
Maybe Din was right.
I reminisce and cry too much.
You're all that I hoped I'd find in every single way.
And everything I could give,
Is everything you couldn't take.
Cause nothing feels like home,
You're a thousand miles away.
danishatiqahaqilahizajainibavanizuldin ♥And everything I could give,
Is everything you couldn't take.
Cause nothing feels like home,
You're a thousand miles away.
Now give me a moment, for I am tearing.
-----
10:59 PM
Exits
Tagboard
I do not want a tagboard.