Forever young.

soundtracks to my soul ♥

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e-mail: zhafhiey@hotmail.com
MSN: ixixy@hotmail.com

MIYAVI, my hero.
He changed my life, he cleaned me up, he found my heart like only HE can. He made me discover myself, he's my drive, my inspiration, my voice, my soul, my song, my heart, my hero. ♥ I don't think I can ever have built a passion and found a dream if I had never found him. He makes my day each time, and every song he has written is etched in my mind, my heart and my soul. I am very protective of this man because I don't like people making fun of whoever it is that has left an impact in my life. He is all I need right now to keep me going to achieve my dreams. And don't be jealous that a guy in magenta nail polish can get more chicks than you.

GERARD WAY, the first.

He is undeniably an awesome person with a wonderful personality. He is always all-smiles and not forgetting he has a lovely smile. Whoever fails to love this man fails so much, because they are definitely blind. I knew him before I knew Miyavi, and he did the first few jobs to straightening my life out before handing it all over to him. He got married to someone else already, but I am happy for him, of course I am (: He has been the bestest there is for the past 2 years I was obsessed over him.

BILL KAULITZ, my porcupine.
Bill makes awesome music and he, although young, is very talented and expressive. Miyavi is more expressive than he is, but hey! Bill just turned 19, and he definitely has a long way to go. He earned success through hard work and diligence, and for that, I love him to bits. He hasn't really done anything to change my life, but he's wonderful nonetheless. And yes, it's a he. A guy who happens to have long hair so you people think he's a girl. A guy whose face is effeminate and prettier than all you other guys out there. You're just jealous that a guy in black nailpolish can earn more chicks than you, just like Miyavi.

WILLIAM BECKETT, my laughing gas.

He's cute, I know. He's funny, even more. He's tall, has a great smile, wonderful personality, great sense of humor, wonderful singing voice, he's so... wow. I am not in love with him, but I pretty much look up to him and his group of friends, which includes oddities like Chislett, Mike Carden, Sisky and The Butcher to always make me feel better on days I'm feeling quite blue. They never fail to slap a smile onto my face because they are awesome and funny like that. Whoever has not seen these guys in action, but go and watch them ASAP because they. are. the. shiz. Great humourous bunch of people, who make awesome music as well. Who can't possibly love them!?

JOE JONAS, satisfaction
People who know me well, know damn well I do not like this guy. I don't even like him now, I'm just in this for the thrill. So yea, I don't hate him as much as I used to, but I don't like him much either. But, I'll have you know he's a damn good kisser and I should know, yes, I should know. And his saliva tastes like cherry/mint. No, don't even ask. Oooo, scandalous. And I just thought that after everything that happened, he deserved at least a mention for satisfying my lust.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I don't understand. Why? Why you? I know, maybe you have hurt some people, but everyone suddenly ganging up on you like this... It's UNFAIR. Sure, I'm not the one going through this, but seeing you go through it is hurtful enough, and don't you even try to tell me to relax and that everything will be fine, because I choose to be in this with you, and I will see it through till the end.

I cannot stand seeing you like this, and look at that the SHIT people are giving you. You do not deserve this. All the slandering, the hatred and everything. Being shunned and whatnot. You're a nice guy, one of the nicest I have ever met. Seeing you turn into some kind of disgrace to mankind... it's painful... it really is...

And it hurts me more knowing that there's almost nothing I can do but console you. Perhaps, maybe even the advices I give you are wrong or dumb.

You've hurt me once too, but I held nothing against you. I know people are different, but it's at times like these where I wish everyone else thought the way I think.

All the stuff you've gone through has SCREWED your ego SO BADLY, you hardly have any left. When they say you're being too humble, you're not. You're just really fucked up, and it's all because of these heartless people who care only for themselves.

DO THEY SEE JOY IN MAKING PEOPLE FEEL INFERIOR?
YOU FUCKING LOW-LIFES.
Isn't there anything better to do with your time other than making comments about people?
ISN'T THERE? DON'T YOU HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO, A FAMILY TO SPEND TIME WITH, OR WHATEVER OTHER SHIT YOU DO?

YES, I am angry. I am hurt. I am disappointed. I feel so hopeless.

I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
I'm sorry there's nothing I can do to help...
I sincerely want to...
But there's nothing I am able to do... isn't there?

I've never felt so useless.
The world's so cruel.

Don't tell me to be happy for you either, because I can't while knowing you're going through this.
I'm going through it WITH you.
I don't care.

I've lost you once, I'm not going to lose you another time.

11:48 PM